The whirl of colours created in my minds eye transported me to another galaxy, with the vacancy of breath, thought and sound I was free to observe myself from outside of myself.
Ever since graduating from Optometry, I have been on a journey of discovering myself. Instead of learning about anatomy and physiology, pharmacology, pathology and epidemiology, I began exploring psychology… not just the psychology of who I am dealing with in my chair, but who I, Me, Myself is dealing with in my head. In this being, in this heart, in this body, in this accumulation of somewhat remarkably yet unremarkable accumulation of organs, controlled by messengers; of hormones, of electricity, of potential electricity, of proteins and enzymes, of trap doors in cells and microscopic mounds that autonomically run continuously, second after second, day after day, year after year, to give me ENERGY, to give me LIFE.
“[Floating in an isolation tank] is the first time that we’ve been without sensory experience, sensory environmental stimuli, since we were conceived” Dan Engle, MD, Tools Of Titans-Tim Ferris
In 2014, after 7 years of University, after 7 years of trying my hardest to be the best I could be. 7 years of being marked mostly a B, Sometimes a B+, the occasional C, the one beautiful and only time I felt in a true flow state, an A+, and then those couple of disappointing C-s. After all of that, I decided to try and find out what was going on in this head of mine. A head, a brain, a mind that was so banked up with knowledge, knowledge that had been ranked based on a myriad of lecturers and markers and on a whole was classed as merely B! B for Bachelors, no B+ for Honours, just me, an Optometrist, fit to tell people why and how they could or couldn’t see.
“When Prepped well and done consistently over time, it [floating] can still be an extraordinary ‘psychedelic’ arena. By this, I essentially mean coming back to a deeper connection with one’s self” Dan Engle, MD, Tools Of Titans-Tim Ferris
The realisation that I did not know who I was, led me to visit a psychotherapist. With me, he explored my history, my sticking points, my beliefs, and to my relief he did not diagnose me as a mentally ill person, nor was I depressed, merely I had a reasonably severe case of low self esteem. My years of searching to be good enough, of trying to be that little bit better, of searching for the right people, trying to get into the right sports team, be at the right night club, go to the right cafe, drive the right car (or even to own a car for that matter) had created the belief that I was not good enough ever! Even though I would put my best foot forward, give everything my best go, I would inevitably fail or fall short eventually.
“So all of the brain’s searching and gating information from the environment is relaxed. Everything that was in the background -kind of ‘behind the curtain’ -can now be exposed” Dan Engle, MD, Tools Of Titans-Tim Ferris
They say knowledge is power. Knowing where I was tripping myself up, whilst not a magic bullet, allowed me to recognise where I was taking the wrong road. After these sessions I began to do things that drastically improved who I was, allowed me to leave behind my inadequacies and move forward to greater prosperity. From personal development programs, articles, books, RYLA, sporting endeavours and now to reading and finishing Tools Of Titans. I now wake up every day with purpose and hope. I wake up grateful for so much, excited for so much and driven to do bigger and greater things. I no longer find myself looking for what can go wrong and with every day, I live my life with less and less fear.
My girlfriend Alex, often asks me what I am scared of, all I can normally come up with is Thalassophobia; the fear of seas or deep bodies of water such as a lake, pool, river, pond etc. but if I am truly honest, it was the fear of not being enough….
In Tools of Titans, Dan Engle mentions that “you get this bleed over effect into everyday life”. I write this on the Tuesday following my first float on Saturday morning, and for the first time in my life, over 3 years on from those psychotherapy sessions, today is the first time I have understood what my true fear was, and you know what they say, knowledge is power.
If you are looking to explore the incredible experience of floating, head over to The Float Room and book your appointment.
A float is an hour left to your own thoughts devoid of your senses, so you may wish to consider exploring some meditation techniques prior to floating. Natalie will be sure to walk you through the process.